I know we all tend to talk to ourselves and have a big back bone in the tone in our voice with what we'd like to say to people in our lives who seem to always want to complain about life?
If only they knew how much time is wasted complaining about things! Drama is something I've tried to remove from my life! Life is peaceful when there is no drama!
Personally, I'm in a season of learning to let go. Those close to me know I was engaged to be married to a man who I still love very much. I'm learning to move me up on the list we all should have... God then ourselves, family... etc.
All my life I've put others before myself! Whether it be my kids, my husband, family, strangers and then maybe me - It's always been this way as long as I can remember.
This season has been one of the hardest for me because I feel I'm just not built that way. I know in my heart God is working on this with me and it is one of my lesson for this season.
Knowing is step one of learning to change this about me so I will be prepared for what is next in my life.
God hold's the biggest part of my heart and then there is my ex fiance'. I'm still mentally married to him! (Which comes to a surprise to some and not so much to others) It's like no matter how many times I've ask God to take the love for him out of my heart, his response has been NO! I don't know why, but I trust his answer to me. I have faith it will be revealed in God's timing.
Letting go is a struggle for me. When things happen in my life my first thought is to pick up the phone and share with him. I now have taken those moments of wanting to share verbally to pray. At first I would just pray for him and ask God's will be done. I have now started praying for me. It's very odd because of my past with putting others before myself.
Some who read this will not understand loving others more than yourself. It's a struggle for people like me to "move on" as I've been told. See my faith and season is teaching me a deeper love for others with the lesson of God wanting me to take care of me too!
I am human and change for any of us is hard but we ultimately have to for new growth!
So far during this season I've seen such growth in me:
I'm able to speak to my ex fiance' and still see that wonderful person I fell in love with but he doesn't see in himself.
I've seen God bless me during the pain in my storm as I praise him in it.
Every time I've hit a low and lifted it up, God shows me what I need to know at that moment and blesses me!
My faith is stronger than it ever has been and I am continuing to learn about his timing and how perfect it is!
I prayed about the conversation I was going to have with my ex fiance' and asked for honesty. God gave me this along with learning to continue to listen not only with my ears but with my heart. (Which was the subject of a recent blog)
Learning to let go isn't always a process that takes a few weeks, months or years! My advise is: Each of our lessons are individual, just like our relationship with God. Some may fight God all the way and some may lean back and let him take control, which is always what he wants to begin with. Subtle nudges come from the Father letting us know he is there to take it from us - we just have to ask him!
Remember there is something behind every smile you see, laughter through the pain and love beyond our own understanding!
Be Blessed,
Dee
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks!