When I love I do it with my whole heart and soul, never thinking of anyone but the person I’m in the relationship with when planning for the future. Yes, I’m a planner.
There are times when life gives us something we don’t plan and it’s up to us to pick and choose what we do with those plans. Today is one of those days!
I know in my studies in the Bible we don’t know when the end of time will be. Just like we don’t know when we will die.
When I was younger, in my early 20’s, I would have fears of my husband leaving me to take care of my children along. And I worried about something happening to me with no one to take care of them. For years I did this and the only thing it got me was grief, nightmares and an overall feeling of unhappiness. As the years went by I began to understand more about life and death and the biblical teachings of it. I found peace with what I had learned and eventually I was able to let go of that fear.
Seems I always have a way of picking them as they say. Unlike many people I just can’t fall out of love nor can I just throw away my feeling so easily. What I do know is there are not a lot of people out there like me. I like to say “I’m not stupid I’m in Love”…I see so many give up on love because of seeing signs and then just look for the next one in line. I guess I’m just not built that way mentally.
I just know firsthand when a man starts to drift away… be it his fear of commitment or fear of dying. (There are other things too but let’s just focus on these two for a moment)
The fear of losing your ‘freedom’ or maybe you think things in your life will change forever. If you think you are the only one who has this fear, you’re wrong because every man and woman has the same fears.
Then there is the fear of dying. “We are born to die” was a quote I read from a man who was over 100 years old. It’s so true and yet from the day we are born those days are counting down as they simultaneously are counting up. It’s only at times when life changing events happen do you see how fragile life is and begin to prepare for things or we just shut out everyone and don’t LIVE you just EXIST! Why?
You can come up with all kinds of excuses, but they are just excuses and the same things will happen over and over in every relationship you ever come into until you realize one day, when the light bulb goes off what you’re doing. Sometimes the moment is too late and the one thing, person or life you wanted just slipped right through your fingertips never to return again.
A life changing event can also have you rethink a lot of things and your life in general. Remember this doesn’t only change your life it affects those around you too.
I have always been able to go with my gut and I find my heart has been racing from feelings and seeing signs which have been screaming at me for weeks from the man I’m in love with: being preoccupied, being secretive with text and phone calls, less and less time for us to spend together, excuses of being too tired, short tempered, and the lack of communication between us. Pulling away from church and there are others but they are just not important at this time.
Let me continue by saying we’ve both been under extreme stress with news of me taking a job away from the area. It’s not far… but it has changed things. I have felt him push me further away every day.
I’ve tried to talk about it with him and I know he has no doubt in his mind where my heart is…it’s just very hard to see the bigger picture, or some might say the light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah the tunnel it has 2 ends just like a story… so I’m just sharing how I’ve seen things from my end. I’ve explained before he’s a very private guy about his life being shared on the web so I’m sure I’ll hear about it later. (At least I’m keeping his name out…LOL)
Some may see this blog as a rant or venting but there’re actually lessons to be shared when it comes to our lives at this moment in time.
God teaches us how to forgive!
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing not only is it part of being a Christian it is a part of healing our hearts to move past the hurt and pain to live another day.
Love!
God is Love and Love is God! Once this fills a person’s heart - the healing starts.
How the devil works!
Satan focuses his eyes on those who are reborn, the newest Christians who have rededicated their lives. Casting doubts in their minds and believe systems.
When listening to the pastor today he said it so well about forgiveness… He gave several examples about forgiveness. Jesus has forgiven us from our sins if only we confess them to him. We have to be accountable for what we do.
For a Christian, no matter what the wrong is, we are to forgive. Pastor Jeff went on to say there are so many people who sit around ticked off because someone has said something about them on FaceBook or in the case of a man or woman saying “but preacher you don’t know how bad my husband did me” or “you don’t know what my wife did to me”. (Yes, we are in the South and I wrote it the way it was said..LOL)
Below is a breakdown of what he said.
Ways not to confess your sins to God:
Don’t beg for forgiveness
Don’t bargain with God
Don’t bribe God
How God forgives:
Instantly
Repeatedly
Freely
When knowing how God forgives us and how to pray we should learn and share what we know!
Many will die with their sins forgiven but will go to hell for not owning those sins through confession of them to God the father in prayer.
While you have read this blog I hope and pray for forgiveness with my eyes more open as to how I have been praying in the past and knowing how God forgives is a great blessing in life to have!
Some things are simple while others a bit more difficult with twist and turns in them and to us down here on this earth we may see things as we are so wronged and it’s hard to find a place for forgiveness in your life…Just remember God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross to forgive us… Nothing compares to that extreme forgiveness! A love which has lasted all these years!
Find it in your heart to forgive yourself, so you can learn the great gift of forgiveness we have today!
I’ve got the nickname of Dr. Phil from the love of my life - you know the one who I gave my heart and soul to - along with a few others nicknames too. I told him last night I didn’t regret one moment we have spent together. He asked me why I would say such a thing… This is why:
You helped me…
...learn to not short change my talents so much,
…learn to love and trust again,
…listen to the birds more,
…listen to my gut and not sweep it under the rug,
…speak my mind no matter what, even when it’s hard,
…not to sit and wait on life, because it is short and special,
…not everyone is like me,
…living in the past isn’t for me,
…forgiveness is so important,
…learn I’m never alone because God is with me always,
And reminded me about leading a horse to water… the words and way you described it will always remain in my memories along with those few times you really let me in. Believe in yourself like I do.
Only God knows what the future holds. No matter what happens; my wish for you is true happiness in life!
Forgiving, Loving, and Confessing the Stressing, Heart and Soul are just a few things I’ve learned in the past few weeks!
Come back over the next few days for more blogs.
Have a blessed day!
Dee Stevens
03/27/2011
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